She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
