my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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