Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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