Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
