That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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