i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
