but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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