SEEEEXXX PLEASE
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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