we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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