He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
