Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
