I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize