we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i think i have two assholes
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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