his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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