there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
