3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize