i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
