He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
