oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
