Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
