we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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