No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
