I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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