so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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