Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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