Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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