let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
