I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
