I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
