I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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