you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
