no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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