so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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