meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
