he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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