I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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