Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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