I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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