Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
