I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just google imaged poop.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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