im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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