Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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