Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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