I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Acid is not a monday night drug
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize