is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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