i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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