If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
