I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
