I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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