My brain says no but my pants say off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Someone signed my nipple.
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