Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
