are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
