Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
