mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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