In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
