yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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