Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
