Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
