glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
