I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
