drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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